Hope and the process of healing
Spring is just around the corner and as New Englanders we lean into hope this time of year. Hoping this will be the last snow fall, hoping the sun will shine brighter tomorrow, hoping for the rain to bring flowers into bloom soon.
Cultivating hope in our minds and hearts rewires us to believe that positive outcomes are possible, that things can get better. It is connected to the Sanskrit word Anitya, meaning impermanence. Anitya, reminds us that the good and the bad things in life are impermanent and temporary. Yoga teaches us not to get attached to the positive or negative things that happen in life because they are merely passing through our lives. Feel it while it is here, joyful or difficult, and then let it go. Keeping hope alive is a necessary part of maintaining our mental health.
When something doesn't work out, it is not a sign that we are bad, or stuck on the wrong path, it may be the universe trying to point us in a new, better direction.
This is rarely an instantaneous shift, and takes some effort and time until I shift from "everything sucks" to "everything will work out." I may need to take a walk, feel my feelings, dive into the worst case scenario, before my head clears and I feel hope again.
Don't try to override the process by jumping right into hope, that causes us to feel like we are faking it, and may not allow us to grieve and heal the way we need to. Overriding our true feelings and replacing them with positivity is toxic and unhealthy. We need to hold space for the process, and remember that we will return to hope when we are ready without forcing ourselves to get there.
There is no specific timeline for healing, but if we get stuck in the process and find ourselves in grief, frustration or hopelessness for too long, try these daily practices to cultivate hope for the future.
3 Practices to Cultivate Hope Each Day:
Impermanence: When you are having a bad day remind yourself of a time in the past when you felt down, and realize that it flowed in and out of your life and didn't stay forever. Perhaps reminding yourself that even joy didn't last forever may help you seek hopefulness and enjoy it more when it arrives. While we want to cultivate hope, we don't want to cling to it, we need to give it space to grow, to heal us, but also be ok when things inevitably shift again. This is life, and learning to ride the waves of emotion ensures we don't drown in them.
Realistic Reframe: Sometimes we set ourselves up for disappointment by not being realistic with ourselves and what we really want. We may think that something not working out as we wanted means we are doing something wrong, but perhaps it wasn't meant for us. Perhaps we need to really listen inward and recognize that we were looking in the wrong place. For example, in college I wanted to be a singer, so I auditioned for a band, but they didn't pick me. I felt like I had failed, I wasn't a good enough singer. But after some reflection I realized that the music they were playing wasn't really my style, and I began looking for musicians that were more aligned with me and I found I really loved singing R&B and jazz in a different band. Had I gotten picked by that rock band I may not have been put on the path to seek out the music that I really wanted to play.
New Beginnings & Compassion: Leaning on our practices from the past 2 months, seeking new beginnings and being compassionate with ourselves, can help us come back to hope each day. Giving ourselves compassion when our mind spirals, or when we falter, and making that moment of awareness a new beginning can bring about hope for what is next; helping us find hope for growth, healing and a fresh start.
My hope is that you find ease and kindness for yourself this month.
I hope you get on your mat and practice yoga this month.
And I hope that when things are tough, we lean on each other in our Lotus community.
Hugs,
Ren